If I paid any attention whatsoever to whatever is going on in the world, I would probably say that a lot has changed since the last time I posted anything here. But since I'm a scruffy, self-centered hermit, as far as I know there could have been a giant explosion on a deep water oil rig that vomited sticky death into the Gulf for months with no clear idea of how or if it could be remedied...or something.
Crazier things have happened when I'm looking the other way. In fact, one time I was making a right hand turn and looking to the left for oncoming traffic. When I looked back to the right as I was rolling through the crosswalk I spied a very lifelike and human-sized hood ornament wearing a knit cap leaping over my front bumper, Heisman trophy style. It was a deft feat of grace for someone holding a heavy looking paper bag in one hand.
And another time...no. You know what? I'm not going to do this. I'm trying to justify my lack of discipline. Again. It's like every time I gain a stealth 5 pounds I think, "Well, it is the holiday season. Heh-heh." Or, "Well, it is birthday season. Heh-heh." (By the way, in my family birthday season is real. We have like 100 birthdays between October and June.) Or, "Well, it is football season. Heh-heh."
When I don't write for a long time it's because we're remodeling, the children annoy me, there's dusting to do, I'm too drunk, etc., et al infinity. In all fairness, some of these excuses are real. Also, at the moment I don't have an agent or the deadlines that come with them. Surely, they'll be knocking over their Starbucks in a mad rush to represent me if one happens upon this post. Until then, it's up to me to kick my own butt into gear.
What really burns me is this thought flashing bright in my brain: If you don't write, then guess what? YOU ARE NOT A WRITER! Ouch. If I don't finish what I start then I risk being some old guy who says, "Yeah, I've got a terrific idea for a novel but I've never gotten around to finishing it."
You are NOT a writer if you don't write.
If you are a writer, perhaps you can avoid letting yourself down by following my guidelines for successful writing. I don't, but maybe you could give them a try.
- Write Every Day - My buddy, Kevin, writes in a journal every day. What he eats, what he did, how he feels, random thoughts. Plus, he's a prolific writer of fiction. Obviously, this level of dedication to his writing makes him a disturbed individual with nothing better to do. That said, he's an agent's dream because he gets stuff done. So you're not feeling your latest manuscript when you get up that morning? So what. Go sit down and put fingertips to keyboard. I have written my best work on days when I felt wrung out of creative juices. Or maybe it was my worst work, but, whatever, just write every day anyway.
- Admit That your Excuses are Bunk - I recently read Dean Karnazes' "Ultramarathoner: Confessions of an All-Night Runner". The man has two kids, worked a full time job, while running HUNDREDS of miles at a time and he wrote a book while doing it all. If any person had a valid excuse to flake, it would be him. Even if your criteria matches Dean's (you liar) you better get crackin'.
- Know Your Motivation - This seems simple enough, but it's something we need to ask ourselves often. Why do I write? My main motivation for writing is that I have something to say. Is it important? Interesting? Necessary? I don't know. I do know that I enjoy writing. The solo mental Twister-game of writing forces me to organize my thoughts. Believe me when I say, that's a good thing. Finally, I write because I want to be published. Any writer who downplays the importance of being published is not being honest, I think. C'mon, you know you imagine it: the book signings, a stream of checks arriving in the mail for something you hardly consider work, people recognizing you for what you know to be your passion. When you get published, regardless of whether you make the NY Times Bestseller list or sell a couple hundred copies (in which case you'd likely be dropped by your publisher and possibly your agent, of course), you will have accomplished one of your first goals.
- Limit Your Distractions - Do your thumbs ghost-text while you sleep? If you leave the house without your phone does it ruin your day? Does the thought of a broken DVR send chills down your spine? Ever get caught in a cycle of Funny or Die or youtube clips until you physically have to jolt yourself back to reality? Yeah, me too. We live in a world with an unprecedented number of attention-grabbing distractions. It's why teachers have a tough time keeping their students' attention and why office workers accomplished way more in the '50s when their desks only had a typewriter, a stack of papers, and a full ashtray. And it's why we don't do the stuff we're supposed to be doing instead. The Internet, with its "world at your fingertips" appeal is one of the biggest timesucks EVER. Just read my blog and then get the hell off the Web people!
Keep wrioting!
